Three Scenes in an Absurd Cafe

Scene: Batty Woman enters Cafe. She is graying and plump, bedecked with a hand-woven shawl that still bears its tag. When she sits next to Audience, a powerful and completely unaccountable smell of garbage overwhelms. She remains for an hour, casting disapproving glances at Audience, who are calling around about apartments and muttering under their breath. When Batty Woman leaves, the Eau de Compost departs with her like a cloud of hauteur.

Scene: Audience has begun to pound out a blog post. Their vigor is infectious! Hipster Manchild, who now occupies the space recently vacated by Batty Woman, struggles to keep up. What is he writing? An essay on colonialism? How banal. Audience's lips curl into a tight, vicious smile. Hipster Manchild quails. Fingers spasming, each party draws upon reserves of bullshit as deep and broad as the great tar sands of Canada. Suddenly, Hipster Manchild cries out, blood trickling from his nose and ears! He has succumbed to the tremendous pressures. Audience leaps onto the table and promptly passes out from exhaustion.

Scene: Having transported Audience to the hospital and determined that they require no care, the Ambulance Corps return them to the Cafe. Audience thrashes and foams at the mouth, but it's a ruse! Barista pours cold tea onto Audience's head and Audience sputters to a halt. Cast stares at Audience, who now feels foolish for carrying on. After a long, awkward pause, Audience makes a weak, self-deprecating joke. This serves to break the ice magnificently. Cast roars with laughter and treats itself to 'nilla wafers and toast. Cast and Audience party down like total animals until dinner time, when they all go home and quietly prepare to go back to work on Monday.

THE END